Couldn't fit all of this week's puns on one page, so here is part 2. Hope you enjoy them :-)
• No-one seems ever seems to have any idea about want to do with these dogs, so once again I have to take the lead.
• Got a great new hobby cataloguing tree debris. You would love it. Why don't you take a leaf out of my book?
• "What would you do if a bird shat on your car?" "Dump her!" [A Chubby Brown one I think]
• Look at that man with with a head like an angry cloud. Oooo he's got a face like thunder!
• Just read that they are going to try revive coma patients with cappuccino. Come off it! Wake up & smell the coffee!
• iPhone has invented something for when you are really tired. There's a nap for that.
• I'm not talking to that women with a windscreen for a face. That'll wiper eye.
• Got my nocturnal shift laying ceramics coming up later. Looks like another night on the tiles for me.
• Steve Davis is looking for an amateur to play snooker against. I've applied & I think I'm in the frame!
• I keep getting a hard-on every time I sneeze. Don't worry I'm taking something for it. Pepper. [This is somebody else’s, but I can’t remember who]
• The noise out of that Tennis supplies factory! They're not half making a racquet!
• Did you know that you can now buy body parts of dead Hollywood celebrities? I've got Bette Davis eyes.
• I don't like this Art exhibition about facial hair. It's all a bit eyebrow for me.
• That woman off GMTV has been sticking her finger in my eye all morning. She's left now and I can see clearly now Lorraine has gone.
• I'm aching all over after plowing that field for the wheat crop. Still it's true what they say. No pain - no grain.
• All those doubters. They said I'd never get that picture to stay up, but I nailed it!
• This wonky door looks like it could fall over any minute. It all hinges on what happens next.
• BUY THE NEW 18-SOCKET EXTENSION LEAD ONLY £19.99 BUY OUR NEW 15-TROUGH SINKS ONLY £89.99 Sorry about all of the plugs
• If they think they can break into this time piece shop while I'm on guard they've got another thing coming. Not on my watch.
• I'd love to be in a really gritty vampire film or play. You know something you can really get your teeth into.
• I shouldn't have brought up those missing shoes. I feel like I've put my foot in it now.
• I've never been a fan of denim & my dad & grandad are both the same. Must be something in the jeans.
• What about these people who put bin liners over there heads for thrills? I'm sorry but that's just not my bag.
• I'm having sone A-Team crisps now. Either Salt & Vinegar or Cheese & Onion. One thing is for certain I ain't getting on no Plain
• Was going to make one of those A-Team soups, but they look a bit watery. I feel a bit sorry for them. In fact you could say I pity the gruel
• I've just made one of those A-Team quiches from scratch. I love it when a flan comes together.
• I urgently need to find a picture of Peter Pan's enemy & a burglar. By Hook or by crook I'll get them.
Part 1 is HERE in case you missed it
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