So my last blog was about why I like Twitter and why I joined it so I thought I would follow it up with the types of tweeps you can find on there. I'm not pigeon-holing people by doing this - to be honest most Tweeps will fit into a lot of the categories - I know I do! But these are just some general types I have come across on here.
The Slebo's (Celebrities)
The reason why most people join Twitter is to speak to their favourite celebrity. I think there would be very few people on twitter who don't follow at least one celebrity. I told you in my last blog that following celebrities is why I joined Twitter, and it became a game for me & my friends to try to get a Celeb to tweet us back or even follow us. And it is great when they do. When Davina responded to a tweet of mine it felt good - not that I went around telling people that Davina & I were very good friends in regular contact or anything. I'm not that sad!
The thing is Slebo's are not likely to respond to their tweets for the most part. I can understand why too. I only have 900 & odd followers & I get in put in #twitterjail at least 4 times a week, mainly for responding to people's @replies. Now imagine if someone like Stephen Fry tried to reply to everyone. He would always be in jail. Although it would be nice to get a reply it more than likely isn't going to happen. So those people who think that "Justine Beaver" - never speak the true name for just like Candyman if you mention him they will come (The Beliebers & Spammers) - will tweet you back and fall in love with you then you are wrong. I would just take the whole celeb thing as if you get a reply enjoy it, but don't expect to be drinking champagne at the next Brit Awards because of your online friendship with Kylie Minogue.
Saying that there are a fair few Slebo's that will reply to their followers. The likes of Dame @WinceyWillis1 is a perfect example of a good slebo to follow. She replies to her followers, is down to Earth and up for a laugh, and takes all th TV-AM & Treasure Hunt talk in her stride. Same with @JakeCanuso (Matteo from Bendidorm) and @DerrenLitten (Benidorm writer) - they like twitter and interact with their followers. Even some of the bigger twit celebs like @Schofe and @RealMattLucas - who have thousands of followers will go out of their way to respond to people and follow them.
That doesn't mean that you still don't want certain celebrities to follow. Personally I would probably jizz everywhere if @CaitlinMoran or @EmmaK67 followed me - because I like their sense of humour and think I could have a good laugh with them. If it ever happens keep an eye out for my When Harry Met Sally style tweet. The person who tweets back with "I'll have what he is having" gets extra bonus points.
The #FML Brigade
This is a harder category to write about because it will probably sound like I am slagging these people off but I am not really. In a way they entertain me. For those of you who don't know #fml means "Fuck My Life" - I assume it is for when something bad has happened to you but not catastrophic. There are people on Twitter though who use it for literally anything remotely shitty happening.
Typical tweets from a member of the #fml brigade will read "The hair dye hasn't worked #fml" or "I didn't have enough money to buy a Twix #fml" or "Mrs Doyle has got her tits out in Shameless again #fml" - it makes me laugh because how does any of that fuck someone's life? I suppose it is the new way of being a drama queen but what would I know. I'm not a member of the #fml brigade at all#fml!
Hornbags & Gladrags
A very big category on my timeline at least. I get followed by loads of flirty followers ranging from the "You are cute" peeps to the "How big is your cock" ones. To be honest this is one of my favourite groups of people - how good is it when someone starts flirting with you. I like the banter you get with these people and the laughs you can have by flirting back. All right sometimes people can get a bit full on with the flirting but for the most part it is harmless fun and I say long may it continue.
Banter Buddies
This is probably my favourite catergory and the main reason I return to twitter again & again. I love it when you build up a twiendship with someone to the point where you feel comfortable with having a bit of banter with them. When it becomes acceptable to accuse of follower of having a little cock, or ask them to get their tits out for the lads, or make jokes about their age then you know that you have got something good. I reckon about 10% of my followers come into this category. They are the ones that you miss if they aren't online while you are or who miss you if you are not there. All of you will have Banter Buddies on Twitter so make sure you keep them because it would be a lot more boring if they weren't around.
Silence is Golden?
If you are like me you will also have a lot of followers who follow you but don't really tweet with you. I have had a few like this who never tweet me but list me in their #ff - this is good in the fact that they obviously like you enough to keep following but bad in that they are too shy to talk. Sometimes though, like during the Numbers Game that happened a few months ago, you will get an unexpected tweet and think "who is this tweeting me" which is worse in many ways because how do you respond them.
My advice to the silent types is don't be afraid to tweet with people more if you like them.
Telly Hashtaggers
Another cateogory I come into and another thing that makes Twitter for me. I love it when a lot of tweeters are watching the same programme and take the piss out of. I am a renowned telly hashtagger and any reality style TV show is fair game for me. I only really started this during the last Big Brother but it is one of my favourite Twitter pastimes now. Some of the hashtags I see have me literally LOLing and even ROFLing and on one occassion I was very close to even PMSL. Some of the masters of this genre are @Lkue @Maxative @Elphabob @WillHoe and of course @Dazgale - I recommend following them even if its just for their hashtags!
Anyhoos this is a shorter blog than last time and not as good in my opinion, but I suppose it at least takes a light-hearted look at Twitter and it helped me pass an hour of my time so it achieved something.
I could do with a new topic for my next blog so if you have any suggestions feel free to let me know. I will try to make it funnier than this one too. Also if you want to write a guest blog then feel free to do so and I will post it on here.
Adios
@Gazabell
Sunday, 13 March 2011
Saturday, 12 March 2011
Taking It Up The Twitter
Some things are inevitiable in life; a bird will shit on your car within 24hrs of you washing it, Bridget Jones Diary will be on ITV2 at least 3 times a week, Joe Swash will make any TV appearance he can, and more certain than anything I will pop onto Twitter at least once a day. Why do I go on Twitter? It is simple - it is a great laugh.
Twitter is like a magnet that brings so many different people together that it is never boring. Where else can you flirt, argue, pontificate, tell rubbish jokes, and insult people? Well the pub to be honest but Twitter is better because you can stay away from arseholes easier, not have to put up with bad breath, and if you are handy enough with your phone you don't have to miss any of the action while having a poo.
To be honest I only joined Twitter initially because my brother convinced me that it was fun to tweet celebs. I was up for a laugh and so I did join and started following the usual suspects like Stephen Fry, Wossy, Davina etc. I even convinced some of my mates to join purely to play a game of Celebrity Top Trumps - where the person in the lead would be someone who could get a celeb to reply to them, and the Holy Grail of which would be a follow back from a celebrity. Do you know what it got boring quite quickly (well apart from when Keith Chegwin followed me!) and it wasn't long before we all dipped out of Twitter again. To me Twitter became a disgarded mistress, who joined the other social networking strumpets MySpace and Friends Reunited drinking gin in a bar and telling each other about what a using bastard I was and that my cock wasn't as big as I thought it was.
However, little did I realise that Twitter was the Elizabeth Taylor to my Richard Burton and I gave her another go. It was looking very much the same as last time until one man changed that - and that man was Duncan Banatyne. He introduced #duncansdream which was where he wanted his followers to follow eachother. I thought "what the hell" give it a go so I bought into it. Within 2 days I had gone from 20 followers to 150, and it hit me that was what was missing from my Twitter feed. Real People. As I started talking to the real people it suddenly became more fun - my tweets started to mean something - the fact that I had had Cocopops for breakfast or that I thought Shabby from Big Brother dresses like a street urchin from Oliver! meant more because people responded. That is what kept me interested in Twitter and has still kept me interested in it to this day.
It is the interactions that make it for me. The more followers I got the more I enjoyed it. I get to talk to people who I would never meet in real life, but that is a good thing. I enjoy my real life - it is a great life, but it handy to know that if I am bored at work, or waiting for something that I have (currently) over 900 people in my pocket that I can play with. That is Twitter people by the way - I don't kidnap Borrowers and make them perform for my own sick pleasure!
For those of you new to Twitter you might wonder how I got so many followers - the answer was:-
1) Being Myself
I like to think of myself as a nice, genuine person. Who I am on Twittter is exactly who I am in real life (only my face isn't as scrunched up into a little square) - I am a piss taking bastard. I do talk to everyone who talks to me. I do swear a lot, and I do on occasion get drunk. These traits are all the same on Twitter I think - if you tweet me I will reply. If I have the chance to take the micky out of you in a fun non-nasty way I will (just ask @MuppetFitz or @iBoozy), if I get the chance to drop the F-Bomb then I fucking will and I will on occasion drunk tweet ("God bled autocrrct")
2) Hashtagging
I have come along way since the days of #aaronthediscardedwigand #punnilingus - don't get me wrong these worked for me - people kinda loved the cheesy puns I think, but it was when I joined in on the big hashtag games that my follower count rose - #fivewordsaftersex #foodmovies anythingthing of that ilk I recommend you join in on. People will appreciate your humour and follow you
3) Flirting
Never ever underestimate the power of the flirt. I literally flirt with EVERYONE on my twitter timeline given half the chance. I don't know if this makes me look like slut but I don't care. I know I am not a slut and the fact that I flirt on twitter does not mean that I would act upon it in real life. I see it as a good thing - one it makes people feel good, two it can be a good laugh and three I like it!
That probably makes me sound like I am follower hungry but do you know what that is not the case either. I want quality not quantity - I only let tweeps who chat follow me - I block all the spambots and motivational coaches and people who just post links or phrases. I went on a website recently that told me I block as many followers as I have - If I was follower hungry I would have over 2000 followers - I'm not arsed about that at all. The ones I've got now are all real people (well apart from the fake ones!) and even though I don't chat with all of them the ones I do chat with are brilliant.
That is why I like to take it up the Twitter. I speak to people who I would never get to meet in real life. I don't think I have ever been on Twitter and not laughed at least once! That is why I keep coming back and why I wrote this blog. I will be doing a follow up to this blog at some point to about the tweeps you can tweet with on there, but for now I'll let you get on with something more interesting.
Much love @Gazabell
Twitter is like a magnet that brings so many different people together that it is never boring. Where else can you flirt, argue, pontificate, tell rubbish jokes, and insult people? Well the pub to be honest but Twitter is better because you can stay away from arseholes easier, not have to put up with bad breath, and if you are handy enough with your phone you don't have to miss any of the action while having a poo.
To be honest I only joined Twitter initially because my brother convinced me that it was fun to tweet celebs. I was up for a laugh and so I did join and started following the usual suspects like Stephen Fry, Wossy, Davina etc. I even convinced some of my mates to join purely to play a game of Celebrity Top Trumps - where the person in the lead would be someone who could get a celeb to reply to them, and the Holy Grail of which would be a follow back from a celebrity. Do you know what it got boring quite quickly (well apart from when Keith Chegwin followed me!) and it wasn't long before we all dipped out of Twitter again. To me Twitter became a disgarded mistress, who joined the other social networking strumpets MySpace and Friends Reunited drinking gin in a bar and telling each other about what a using bastard I was and that my cock wasn't as big as I thought it was.
However, little did I realise that Twitter was the Elizabeth Taylor to my Richard Burton and I gave her another go. It was looking very much the same as last time until one man changed that - and that man was Duncan Banatyne. He introduced #duncansdream which was where he wanted his followers to follow eachother. I thought "what the hell" give it a go so I bought into it. Within 2 days I had gone from 20 followers to 150, and it hit me that was what was missing from my Twitter feed. Real People. As I started talking to the real people it suddenly became more fun - my tweets started to mean something - the fact that I had had Cocopops for breakfast or that I thought Shabby from Big Brother dresses like a street urchin from Oliver! meant more because people responded. That is what kept me interested in Twitter and has still kept me interested in it to this day.
It is the interactions that make it for me. The more followers I got the more I enjoyed it. I get to talk to people who I would never meet in real life, but that is a good thing. I enjoy my real life - it is a great life, but it handy to know that if I am bored at work, or waiting for something that I have (currently) over 900 people in my pocket that I can play with. That is Twitter people by the way - I don't kidnap Borrowers and make them perform for my own sick pleasure!
For those of you new to Twitter you might wonder how I got so many followers - the answer was:-
1) Being Myself
I like to think of myself as a nice, genuine person. Who I am on Twittter is exactly who I am in real life (only my face isn't as scrunched up into a little square) - I am a piss taking bastard. I do talk to everyone who talks to me. I do swear a lot, and I do on occasion get drunk. These traits are all the same on Twitter I think - if you tweet me I will reply. If I have the chance to take the micky out of you in a fun non-nasty way I will (just ask @MuppetFitz or @iBoozy), if I get the chance to drop the F-Bomb then I fucking will and I will on occasion drunk tweet ("God bled autocrrct")
2) Hashtagging
I have come along way since the days of #aaronthediscardedwigand #punnilingus - don't get me wrong these worked for me - people kinda loved the cheesy puns I think, but it was when I joined in on the big hashtag games that my follower count rose - #fivewordsaftersex #foodmovies anythingthing of that ilk I recommend you join in on. People will appreciate your humour and follow you
3) Flirting
Never ever underestimate the power of the flirt. I literally flirt with EVERYONE on my twitter timeline given half the chance. I don't know if this makes me look like slut but I don't care. I know I am not a slut and the fact that I flirt on twitter does not mean that I would act upon it in real life. I see it as a good thing - one it makes people feel good, two it can be a good laugh and three I like it!
That probably makes me sound like I am follower hungry but do you know what that is not the case either. I want quality not quantity - I only let tweeps who chat follow me - I block all the spambots and motivational coaches and people who just post links or phrases. I went on a website recently that told me I block as many followers as I have - If I was follower hungry I would have over 2000 followers - I'm not arsed about that at all. The ones I've got now are all real people (well apart from the fake ones!) and even though I don't chat with all of them the ones I do chat with are brilliant.
That is why I like to take it up the Twitter. I speak to people who I would never get to meet in real life. I don't think I have ever been on Twitter and not laughed at least once! That is why I keep coming back and why I wrote this blog. I will be doing a follow up to this blog at some point to about the tweeps you can tweet with on there, but for now I'll let you get on with something more interesting.
Much love @Gazabell
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