Sunday, 24 April 2011

The Answers...

First of all thanks to those of you who read my blog

These are the answers to the programmes I talked about on there.

If you don't like spoilers read that blog before looking below:-


Here we go:-

1) Technologically advanced Anthropomorphic felines, each with artefacts that imbue a special ability upon them, battle a Mummy, and his gang of henchmen, which include anthropomorphic versions of a Toad, Monkey & Jackal. Did I mention you could defeat the powerful enemy by showing him his own reflection?

Was Thundercats - they are on the loose and on the move! I don't know why Mum-Rha was so self-concious about his reflection. A bit of Moisturiser and I'm sure his skin would have cleared up

2) Ring-tailed mammals take part in various environmentally friendly adventures in a forest while thwarting the capitalist overtures of a phallic-nosed Aardvark-like creature

Was The Raccons - with Cyril Sneer who needs some viagra up his nose. Saying that Burt looked like he could do with some too. And do you remember poor old Cecil - he looked like Curly Watts from Corrie!

3) A middle-aged man lives with a bear with learning difficulties, a homosexual hippopotamus, and the mutated offspring of an egg and a pair of corduroy trousers, whilst being regularly interrupted by three swinging singers with a penchant for stripy tops and white trousers.

Was Rainbow of course. No wonder Jeffrey never got married with that menagerie in his house. What the fuck was Zippy supposed to be anyway? And Rod, Jayne & Freddy - definitely members of the Middlesborough Swingers Association!

A latex crocodile, ably assisted by a latex rat and latex mouse runs a successful magazine show from the sewers

A harder one to get maybe? It's Round The Bend. If I remember rightly the rat was a Vincent Van Gough rip off, and it had joke cartoons like Wee-Man & The Masters of the U-Bend and the like. Look how fake looking the Puppet, the erstwhile Doc Croc, is!

5) A Lion and his faithful companion, a Lynx, circumnavigate the globe with a deadline.

Another one which stumped some people - It is Around The World In 80 Days with Willy Fog. Personally I think a Lion might have been shot on arrival in most countries, and at the very least would have eaten all of those companions!

6) A middle-aged man, who never the less insists on wearing Bermuda shorts and a novelty spectacles, attacks young children with a foam hammer for their failure to fully grasp the diversity of the English Language, whilst pulling tongues at them and desecrating their faces with plasters scrawled with mild smut.

Was of course Wac-A-Day (Not Timmy Mallet - who is the person not the show as some suggested to me). I'm not accusing Mallet of anything but the way I wrote up the show makes him sound like a nonce! Plus he was always gettin his cock(atoo) out!

7) A small basset hound dog rides a horse around 17th Century France battling ne’er-do-wells with the aid of 3 other dogs, all the time hoping to get off with another dog who works for the Queen.

Was Dogtanian & The Three Muskerhounds - based of course The Three Mustateers. The main thing I remember about this show was that Dogtanian had a really whiny voice and almost every episode suffered some form of nasal injury that made his nose turn red!

8) A Prince with a split personality battles a man who seems to have suffered complete necrosis of the face and his henchmen, some of whom consist of a man with three eyes, a man whose special talent is fisting people (this is actually true), a woman so evil that she uses it as her first name, and a man who seems to be the result of botched genetic experiment between a man and a fish. Don’t worry though the dual personality dude has help. From a tiger suffering from severe nervous tension, a man who has had his legs replaced with springs, a red dishcloth and what appears to be Tom Selleck.

The easiest one I reckon - it was He-Man and the Masters of the Universe. Which of course would lead to the excellent cheesefest live version film starring Dolph Lundgeran - which should have spawned a sequel! There really was a character in this cartoon called Fistor - who had metal hands! Dirty perverted bastard!

9) Robotic Televisions, with a day job working a reporters, help a Professor with a speech impediment battle various evil elements.

Probably the most obscure one - it was Telebugs. I loved this show at the time. There was an evil telebug too with a....dum dum duuuuuuummmmm - red face! The characters were voiced by Ron Moody - you know Fagin from Oliver! The Telebugs did not crash half as often as Twitter!

10) A mullet headed man, in an obvious sexual relationship with twin sisters, takes great joy in making children sticky, then forcing them to compete against each other driving Go Karts around a track, and then subjecting them to a house that attacks them. (This is not SAW)

Was Fun House - its lots of fun, prizes to be won, its a real whacky show were anything can go! It also had the two worst co-presenters evers in Melanie & The Other Twin who could barely speak and made Dev from Corrie look like Brando! I secretly wanted to go on this show, but only to drive the Go Karts! Pat Sharp had hair like Worzel Gummidge for the early series - Worzel Gummidge with his twat head on usually!

There you go - if yougot them all well done - Nobody gave me concrete proof that they got them though! I may do another one of these some time :-)

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