In The Year Of Our Lord...

On 10^th September I reached another Milestone, celebrating a birthday that on the face of it doesn’t seem like that big a deal. It’s an odd number and one that you wouldn’t think twice about. I celebrated my 33^rd Birthday, please hold back those comments saying I only look 24 (a guy can dream!) because I don’t mind being this old. I know some people hate the thought of getting older but I very rarely feel my age. In my head I am about 23 – just about mature enough to cope with being an adult, but young enough to still think I can stay out partying all hours and living life as much as I can. It’s a good place to be in your head I can tell you.

Anyway you might be thinking “Why is 33 such an important age?”. Well the answer is, it isn’t really, but there is one bit of trivia which I keep telling people, which I find quite amusing and I am going to share it with you. I have now lived as long as Jesus did. Yep, if my GCSE Religion is anything to go by Our Lord died when I he was 33.

Don’t worry this isn’t going to be a blog comparing me to the Son of God. I’ll leave that to quartets of 60’s pop Scousers or the weirdo brigade (here’s looking at you David Icke!). In fact at first glance I am more like the opposite to Jesus. Not in an Antichrist kind of way, but in a kind of reverse miracle kind of way. I mean Jesus turned water into wine, and I often turn wine into “water” (but you wouldn’t want to drink it!). I’ve never given a Sermon on the mount, mainly because I have to concentrate on the thrusting. And I can’t raise the dead, in fact I sometimes struggle to raise a smile on some people. Jesus was Aramaic, whereas I am more Aromatic. You get the picture!

On the other hand I do have some things in common I suppose. Jesus was good with wood, and so am I (even if I do say so myself) though admittedly not the same kind of wood. Jesus got angry with the money lenders, and I too have exchanged some angry letters with Nationwide. Jesus fed 5000 people with loaves and fishes, and I make a mean Fishfinger Butty. Jesus liked spending time in the company of 12 men and…well this is a family blog so we best leave that one there :P

So like I say I have not done this blog to big myself up as a new Son of Man, I just thought I would dispel some myths about being in your thirties. For example it is still possible for you to party hard like you did in your twenties. Even now I manage to get out more weekends, drink enough alcohol to fell Boris Yeltsin, and strut my funky stuff on the dancefloors. True I normally wake up the next day with calves that are tighter than Tory Government public funding finance plan, and I feel the tiredness a lot more, but that is the only difference to a night out when I was 25. The expected aches and pains of old age have yet to make a proper appearance. I can still get out of low furniture without groaning. I still know who most of the latest pop stars are – you won’t hear me saying “Who is Nicky Minge?”

I think I can credit my youthful feelings to my enjoyment of life and the company I keep. I have been really blessed in that I have an amazing family, not just my immediate one, but my extended family, which is HUGE. I have lots of aunts, uncles, hundreds of cousins and we all get on well together and have a good laugh when we see each other. Seeing my older relatives enjoying themselves, having a laugh and joke, comparing illnesses (at some family parties it’s like Ailment Top Trumps!) but still dancing, singing & laughing makes me realise that I don’t have to be old before my time. If my 79 year old Nan is still laughing everyday then that’s the way I want to be.

I’ve also been lucky with the friends I have got. I don’t like to brag (ok well maybe a little bit) but I have lots of friends of varying ages, and I can honestly say I always enjoy being with them. I have mates who I don’t see for years, but when we meet up it’s like I saw them the previous week. I have closer mates who I see often, and again I am always guaranteed a great laugh whenever I meet them. And the best thing is they still keep coming. I’ve got mates from school, mates I met by chance on nights out, mates from work, and now (in these exciting times of Social Media) I have mates I have met online. Even with the people I haven’t met but know online, most my Twitter followers, I know I can always find someone to talk to, to have a laugh with, and to moan to if I am down.

So how can I end this blog? I think I could give you some of the wealth of my wisdom of how to enjoy life because it has always stood me in good stead. Let’s call them the Gazabell 7 Commandments (blimey we are back on religion again!) because I can’t be arsed thinking of 10

·         Laugh Every Day

o   It’s supposed to be the Best Medicine (Diabetics I would still stick to Insulin) and I think if you can find something to laugh about everyday then things can’t be all that bad

·         Take The Piss

o   Now there is a fine line between taking the piss in a vindictive nasty way, and doing it in a way to make people laugh without hurting someone. I think a bit of gentle ribbing is a good thing. You have to remember that if you are going to take the piss don’t do it nastily to their face, and always be prepared to take the piss out of yourself

·         Never Forget You Are Amazing

o   I don’t mean become an arrogant arsehole. I just mean that everyone is special in their own way. Some people can’t see it in themselves so tell them if they can’t. Nobody is worthless so never think you are

·         Have Something To Look Forward To

o   Always have something in the pipeline that you want to do. It could be meeting up with friends, planning a holiday, organising a night out, taking the cat to get it’s claws clipped or playing Volleyball with Nuns. Things are always better when you have something to count down to.

·         Say Something Nice

o   I might come across as a piss-taking cheeky fucker, but I do have a nice side and I always try to make an effort to say something nice to a least one person a day. A little thing like that could make a big difference to your day.

·         Don’t Be Scared To Be Impromptu

o   Some people don’t like coming out of their comfort zone, but often the best way to have fun is to do something you haven’t planned, something unexpected. I have no plans for today, but if I wanted to I could make a video of me dressed as Sir Lancelot singing “Oh What A Knight”. I could run up and down the street waving a scarf over my head. I could ring Dame Wincey Willis and quote every line from the film Short Circuit 2. I’m not going to like, but I like the fact that my mind can come up with these things and I can do them if I want.

·         Follow Gazabell

o   I can’t guarantee to be funny all the time, or even any of the time, but I do try to give it my best shot. If I say something you like don’t be scared to Retweet it, because like most Tweeps a RT or a Favourite is like cocaine mixed with Jaegerbombs washed down with Pepsi and vodka and ecstasy (in short very addictive!) and once you have had it you just want more more more. Don’t be scared to give me a shoutout either. I would like to hit 5000 followers at some point (I’ll feed them with Tweet-sized loaves & fishes). You don’t just have to follow me on Twitter though. You can find me on Tumblr, Path, Facebook, Instagram, Dailybooth & probably anywhere else you care to look, so feel free to follow me or spread the word.

I think that should be enough pontificating and spreading a quick array of utter bollocks into your life for now anyway so Here Endeth Todays Lesson.

@Gazabell